Love, Fear & God
I came across a blog (myadventuresinpain.blogspot.com) that I think expresses a sentiment quite indicative of our present ministry context. The words in red are from that blog, and my response that I posted in that blog's comments follow in blue. Many regular readers will recognize my comments, either hearing something similar from me or from the late theologian, Dr. Walter R. Bouman. Enjoy, and please add your own thoughts.
He who is not there...
Where is god? My family is Lutheran, and both my parents are faithful people. I myself have been indoctrinated into the faith through my parents. Their congregation is on Palau. They didn't quite feel right about joining an American church. They tried but it didn't quite work out. Meanwhile, probably on my fifth birthday I received a children's bible, it along with a child's version of oceanography and dinosaurs was one of my favorite books. I was very young so I didn't read it straight through, but I loved the illustrations and as I got older I began to understand some of the passages. I didn't understand why my parents stressed the fear of god over his/her/it love. But as I got older, and perhaps a little more wiser, I find that fear is the only way to believe in a god.
I used to believe that love was the only answer to getting "right" with god. And that's all there is to it. Nothing like the last few years have tested this belief so strongly. And that I'm coming to the realization that love really has nothing to do with anything sometimes, especially when it comes to an action of a god. On this side of the river of life we will never know what it's all about. And when we cross, we may never know yet. And there may be no opposite shore to reach. How do I know? That is precisely what I am saying, I don't know. Patience must be taught as one of the nation's virtues, we must wait and see. I no longer can have faith in anyone on earth to tell me about god's love. But I will believe the person whom is truly afraid because they can't answer the question why things are happening the way they are.
Here is something I found rummaging around my old folder on my computer. I wrote it on November 30, 1995:
A small prayer for my band: Help me make the right decisions, and be helpful. Give me the strength to go where I need to go musically. Let me be fair, to myself as well as others. And, give me the strength to be responsible for my own dreams.
There are times where I need to be reminded. This is for Brian, Eric, Craig, Merisa and Dane. And even to Mike wherever you are.
Amen
Dear Rick,
I was surfing blogspot and came across your blog. I'd like to add my thoughts in response...take them or leave them for what they're worth.
First, let me say straight forward that I don't have the answer. So, I'm not trying to convince you. What I do have is hope. I can't assure you of God's existence or our purpose in life beyond a doubt. But if you stick with me just a little while longer, I may give you reason to pause long enough to find the courage to live within the ambiguity of doubt.
Second, "Is there a god?" Of course there is, because there are countless gods. A person's god is whatever she is willing to bet her life for. Some bet their lives on career advancement, some in their children, others in immortality projects trying to deny the grip death ultimately has over each of us ... still others bet their lives in rugged independent determinisim in an attempt to deny the existence of any god beyond themselves.
The question then becomes, in what are you going to bet your life? What drives you to wake up day after day?
Third, "is there anything beyond this life?" You're right: no one knows for sure -- unless someone were to go beyond life and come back to tell us about it. You've hit the nail on the head with this question, because death has the final word over all that exists -- over all of the aforementioned gods. The only god worth betting my life on is a god beyond death.
This is why the Christian claim is to be considered. One may either accept it or deny it, but if a person is honest with himself then he at least must consider it. The claim is, "Jesus is risen from the dead. He is lord of all."
Accepting or denying this claim depends on whether one thinks it is based on historical fact or historical fiction -- did his resurrection happen or not. Yet all records of history are based on probability not fact. All history is recorded from a person's own point of view conditioned by the historian's context. Today, we have more historical evidence about Jesus' resurrection than we do about Socrates' death! So not only is the Christian claim possible, according to the standards of history, we can even say it is probable.
Granting, then, the probability of Jesus' resurrection, the god I'm willing to bet my life on is the one who raised Jesus from the dead. Jesus tells us this god is the God of Israel -- the god of those stories and illustrations you loved as a child. If Jesus is credible (and since it's probable he is the only one beyond death, I'd say he is), then we are to believe him when he tells us that the god known in the promises made with Israel has issued a new promise to the entire world through himself.
So, this is what I bet my life on. I bet my life on the claim that death no longer gets the final word over all that exists, Jesus does.
Fourth, Jesus' word to us from beyond death is both love and fear -- as you say. It is love, in the sense that we no longer have to fear death. We are free to abandon our immortality projects and attempts to be our own gods. God's love frees us to live as God intends. And, his word to us is fear in so much that we are free to live honestly within the ambiquity of this messy life that makes vain all attempts at pat answers to tough questions like your own. In a sense, we are free to experience the fear of living in the real world, because we have hope in him who is beyond death, beyond the fear that freezes us in our tracks.
Therefore, we don't have to get right with any god. We don't have to prove ourselves worthy. We don't have to love god enough. We are free to live with courage and hope amid the fears of our world. So to address your concern directly: believing in the God who raised Jesus from the dead is not done by loving the right way or by fearing god the right way; it's about hope. We hope in the god beyond death who has issued a new promise of eternal harmony, and we eagerly anticipate the fulfillment of that promise.
Finally, Rick, if any of what I said even gave you reason to pause for a second, then please accept my invitation to you. Since according to your profile you are in Denver, please visit Abiding Hope Lutheran Church in Littleton (6337 South Robb Way). With the questions you raise, you owe it to yourself to visit just once. I am confident that you will find a community like you've never experienced before, a community who wrestles honestly with the same questions you raise, a community who lives in the hope that frees them to love and to fear. And, if you really want to explore your questions further then I encourage you to ask the Lead Pastor there (Rick Barger) out for coffee.
Peace to you,
Kevan Penvose
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
stillerz7@yahoo.com
1 comment:
I went to Rick's original site, and he responded to your post with something very telling ...paraphrased, it went something like this...it's very risky to tell someone to bet their life on god because god allows no room for negotiation, god has already mapped out existence.... And from his blog it seems that love is not the guiding virtue of god. For another day, I'd also raise issues about the role of our bondaged will, mapped out existence, and our rebellion against God's plans for us.
As a Christian community, we don't profess to know the answers. I've caught a few people offguard around the congregation that I serve when I say, Christianity is not about answers to questions, but about offering courage to live with our questions. So many people I speak with are looking for answers, but when I uncover for them that the answers only lead to more questions, they move further into their existential shock. Yet, by debunking the game of question and answer and offering courage and hope to struggle with life's toughest queries, people walk away more confident in the God who raises Jesus from the dead, who will carry them through their questioning and who does not abandon them in their frustrations.
Don Luck says, "Have you seen the bumper sticker, 'Jesus is the answer.' What does that mean? What is he the answer to? What is the question?" It's about how we frame our questions. When the world asks "Why does God allow suffering, or why does God allow bad things to happen to good people?" as a discipling Messiah community, we say, "That's the wrong question. The question is: where is God in suffering, where is God in the bad stuff?" Here we come closer to the biblical witness that the God of suffering love is in the midst of evil bringing about good, going down to death in order to raise up life.
So we as Messiah's disciples don't really offer answers. Our tomes on theology do attempt that, but for answers to be our ultimate aim is a gross error on our part. I don't remember seeing Jesus say, Go into all the nations of the world and give them answers. He did say go into the nations and baptize them, and baptize them into my death and resurrection. It's in the waters of baptism that our questions also take on a new shape. It's in the waters of baptism where our despair is drowned and hope is raised. It's in the waters of baptism where perfect love drives out fear and where God can be God.
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