Family Covenants

During the weeks between Mother's Day and Father's Day, St. Stephen the Martyr is promoting our first "Faithful Families" campaign. Every family of the church is encouraged to schedule one hour sometime this summer, to invite one of our adult mentors from family ministries into their homes to creat a family covenant.

These visits have two goals. First, families will talk about hopes and expectations they have for their children. Most parents make clear what their expectations are for their children in various realms of life: education, friends, family, jobs, etc. But often we don't take the same approach when it comes to raising up disciples. It seems that the norm in the Lutheran church is for parents to tell their children that once they are confirmed, they make their own decisions regarding their faith life.

This is absolutely absurd! When our kids first get their driver's liscense, do we hand them the keys to the car and say, "what you do with it is now up to you"?! Do we shake their hands at junior high graduation and say, "whether you put your knowledge to use or want to learn anything new for the rest of your life is up to you now"?! Is it any wonder why Lutherans have the highest ratio of inactive teens post-confirmation?

We need to reverse this trend. I've been confirmed for 14 years, and I'm still actively living my faith because I have more and more mentors holding me accountable to expecations. Goal #1 is to help families discern what God's expectations are for living the faith and what it will take in the children's daily lives at home to communicate clearly and lovingly those expectations.

The second goal of cutting a family covenant is to develop a plan for the home and the congregation to work together in shaping disciples according to God's expectations. Every child is unique. This is true not only in a group of many different children such as in a congregation, but also even within one family. God gives various gifts that are unique to each person, and each person finds him or her self on a one of a kind path in life.

For this reason, a different family covenant is made for each child between 7th and 12th grades. Some people flourish in a group setting and others do so with a one-on-one mentor. Some are ready to take on leadership responsibilities and others are just getting their feet wet. Family covenants ensure that the church can journey with each youth on his or her unique path in life and help the youth to grow in the unique gifts given by God.